Photo credit: B. Showemimo
Twitter street has a substantial number of smart Nigerians. That’s not to say there ain’t cows and goats who launch into an argument head first on that same street. A few days ago, there was an interesting thread on how a man should comport and carry himself. Some of the comments were funny. Some were interesting and thought provoking. Some seemed silly but they were nevertheless correct. I have attempted to add flesh to a number of those intriguing snippets. Please, enjoy it.
First, be neat. The much vaunted perception that a man is only supposed to be rich and nothing more is misleading. Perhaps, this is the reason many of those teenage boys wear one boxer shorts for as long as 3 weeks. Some even bathe in the same shorts and proceed to wear their jeans on soaked boxers. A man is supposed to be as clean as a needle. When you wear a shirt, wear it regally. Don’t wear a dirty or rumpled shirt and treat your white shirt like a girlfriend. If possible, you should also own a suit and maybe work on your body too. That way, the suit fits you and not you fitting the suit. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t keep your nails cropped. Don’t forget, you’re a man.
Second, whenever you pass out fecal matter, you must wash your behind with water. Don’t be content with wiping your butt with tissue. Tissue wipes, water cleans.The residue of fecal matter has a way of sticking around when you use tissue . When we were much younger and in primary school, the school toilet was a no go area for many of us. Part of the reason was because some idiotic children wiped their butt against the toilet wall. You think this is impossible? Then, you definitely didn’t go to a public school!
Third, use a deodorant at all times. Deodorants mask odour. If you must use perfumes, do so in moderation. Always remember that timeless minimalist credo: less is more. If you baptize yourself with a body spray to the extent that people sneeze and cover their noses when you enter the room, you may have made a fool of yourself .Remember, you’re a man; not a pot of soup. In my estimation, it’s better when people catch a whiff of your ‘smell’ as you pass by them.
Fourth, don’t let chivalry die. Even though we live in an age where women profess they’re strong and capable, always lend a hand whenever you can. From such simple acts as holding a door for a lady or even helping a lady in distress, go out of your way to be kind. When you offer help and you’re rebuffed, just walk away quietly. Some people lack home training and she, probably, falls into that class. Don’t lend a hand because you’re hoping to pick up her number. Just do it and make it a way of life. These days, genuinely kind souls are as hard to come by as white lions.
Finally, don’t be a glutton. When I was serving in the north, one of my friends boasted he could finish four cups of rice. Nobody believed him. We put him to the test and indeed he devoured every single grain. Why eat like that? Is the world ending tomorrow? Eat decently and in moderation. When you eat, don’t let grains of rice fly out at the corners of your mouth. Everyone should eat with their mouths closed. We are not dogs. Perhaps the most important point, is that everyman should commit to a life of learning. What’s a man with an empty head? People feel money is all that is required to be successful. That is untrue. We are men. We are champions. We need to get better everyday.